Dearly beloved companions of the path:
I am pleased to take up the pen to send you the following message that I have decided to call…
…THE “I” OF VICTIMISM
Within the varied panorama of our miserable psychology typical of our condition as humanoids, it is good to study, reflect, inquire, delve into the dark details of one of our worst psychological aggregates that, being attached to our psyche, increase our conscientious blindness, thus preventing us from the long-awaited awakening of our CONSCIOUSNESS.
We must not forget that in our CONSCIOUSNESS are to be found all the jewels that could link us to our inner reality and, therefore, allow us to establish ourselves in a permanent state of plenitude, which we enjoyed in ancient times, when the human race had not yet fallen into its own degeneration and its consequent sleep.
This aggregate, among the ten thousand that keep our Consciousness trapped in a deep sleep, likes to camouflage itself in our psychic continent, and hence, when we want to detect it, it never wants to see itself, it flees from the mirror of social life and looks for a thousand ways to hide itself from the eyes of self-observation.
Unquestionably, this psychological larva, when it is about to be discovered when we are in meditation or profound reflection, it immediately tries to find someone whom it can blame for its actions.
Having someone to blame is much easier for most people. It is difficult to accept that something is wrong within us and, when we are confronted with a problem that relates us to another person and we do not express our affliction, the situation becomes worse, because many of those who do not speak up or those who definitely never want to talk about it, continue to ruminate in their minds with the clutches of this disgusting energetic element.
For this reason, the V.M. Samael expressed many times: “It is as bad to be silent when we should speak as it is to speak when we should be silent”……..
This has led some instructors to say things like that in front of a woman it is better only to listen and not to speak, because, according to these instructors, the woman is a mental entity.
Obviously, we will never agree with this statement and therefore we must respect the words of our Patriarch when he warns us about knowing when to be silent or when to speak. Probably someone can consider it fit to always want to remain silent in front of a woman, but this is not true. In such a case, another Ego would be expressing itself: that of machismo. The “I” of machismo has the tendency to consider that the woman should not have an opinion, and when the woman gives an opinion then this macho “I” considers that woman as someone who enjoys exercising command, that is, being a bossy woman. Many of those who are victims of the “I” of machismo are men who are afraid of women, who do not understand them. But many of them do not think this about their mothers, and yet they do think that about their partners. Or is his mother perhaps not a woman? When they speak in this way, some of these men do not perceive that in this way they are distancing themselves from their Divine Mother.
The “I” of victimism is associated with people who always have self-consideration. A victim is someone, a physical person who, directly or indirectly, has suffered harm or the impairment of his or her rights as a result of a violation of human rights or the crystallization of a crime; this is what the definition says.
The rest of what we suffer, if they are not insults, well they are only opinions, and if we are not able to accept these opinions it is because we have a lot of self-love and pride… People have the right to have an opinion even if it hurts us – and obviously always doing so with respect.
The “I” of victimism is something that is born in the mind and then passes to the emotional center, which transforms it into us being people who suffer… The “I” of victimism makes us feel that we are carrying a cross…, a utopian cross, because it makes us feel self-sacrificing. And, of course, they are all aspects of the same “I” of victimism.
It is like justifying our misery.
We are not moving forward with this because, deep down, we like this state… And if others see us that way, even better, then it is like having medals.
We do not accept that someone tells us the truth so that we can really change. We do not accept that others tell us something, even if it is in a good way, to change our lives because deep down we like these victimizing states that we have. Apparently, this gives meaning to our lives, we feel alive with it, and we even pass as saints.
Of course, it is possible to change the state, our states, our psychology, our mistakes, our “I's”, etc., and our lives. But the “I” of victimism thinks that everything that happens to it, or almost everything, is the fault of others. And even if it were the fault of others, isn't there something there that we have to change, to learn?
One has to leave the past behind in order to move forward… If not, this becomes our identity and defines us… The “I” says: “I am here because I have lived through this, because we built this, because it worked for me,” or, “I am like this because I lived through this trauma…” We remain there, we can no longer move forward, because this becomes our psychological song.
And if something changes in our lives, then we cannot stand it because we are already a mold of things that we do not want to let go of, because we feel happy with that image that we have built, and we do not seek the death of the “I”.
We do not like to take responsibility for what happens to us today, and although the past has been good, this does not mean that it always will be so, that our way of life will always work.
It may be that our way of interacting or living with others works for a while, but there comes a time when the Father seeks something else from us, a radical change. Because if the water does not boil at a hundred degrees, then the “I” does not die. And if we have been so good for so many years, why are we still not self-realized?
Most people do not want to change and accept what is happening to them, what they are experiencing now.
If something happens to us one day, just one day or for a few hours or for a few minutes, in which someone does or says something to us, and then we carry it inside us every day of the year and in every moment, this is what we remember: this is called MENTAL EMBOTTLING. How can we move forward? Well, in the end it was not just a moment lived. We are always reliving it over and over again… And our embottling, in the end, defines our life…
Sometimes talking is good, they are moments when one comprehends better, or is relieved, or sees that what we saw there was not real, they were just mental scenes or situations that we had been carrying inside us for a year. People who do not talk will keep that embottling for years.
This is the “I” of victimism… There is no room for change because we are stuck in the past.
The “I” of victimism can accompany the depressive “I”. They like to ruminate. This creates mental people, people who do not want to change, who take this “I” and nurture it. And they are not talkative people. They can, in the end, go as far as committing suicide, because they do not seek help, they shut themselves off, they nourish the monster they have created…..
Of course, there are emotional crises, this is when the “I” dies. But if one spends one's time with sorrow because of one's self love, this emotional crisis is not the result of mystical death, but rather we will be reliving this or that event every day suffering from something that no longer exists, something that the “I” has invented. But we take it as if it were true and we sink.
When we are like this, the best thing is to talk, clarify things in order to be able to move forward. But those who suffer from the “I” of victimism are not always people who like to talk, and the risk is that they create their own theory and hold it as an absolute truth. A nightmare. And if they do talk, they will always do so from their point of view without, really, wanting to fix the situation.
So tears are not always the result of the death of the “I”… Ironically, crying will often strengthen the “I”. For example, the “I” of self-pity, of false compassion, wounded self-love, among other things; the “I” of victimism is linked to the “I” of self-pity, of self-importance…
There are people who like dramatic things, crying, because it gives them a certain stimulus… Negative people will have a tendency to enter into the “I” of victimism.
The “I” of victimism is one of the worst “I's” we have, one of those that prevent us the most from moving forward… Because everything is the fault of others. “I am a good person,” we say, “they don't see me, look how they treat me, look at what they have said, they don't love me…”, this is what the “I” tells us…..
This “I” says: “I am the victim… I am not understood…” This can be said or alluded to, or making poses of a victim.
The “I” of victimism can also be combined with the “I” of secrecy—which is different from the virtue of hermeticism─.
When it is difficult for us to talk about our feelings, our thoughts, we will have a tendency to keep our sufferings, our sorrows and the facts locked up inside ourselves. If someone were like that, he does not need any spiritual guidance in his life, because he does not want to seek the reality, he deceives himself and others. Such a person lives with his own mental analysis, and if he is happy like that he separates himself from the Father because his mind is the one that directs him. Because the “I” of victimism and secrecy combined make us feel self-sufficient.
The “I” of victimism can be eliminated by seeking communication to comprehend those states. Once comprehended, we will see that the facts were not as we thought.
But, of course, one must be careful not to go in with anger to seek an explanation. Talking and communicating helps, it opens up possibilities to reach a comprehension, to have an explanation of something that exists or of something that sometimes did not even exist.
In general, the “I” of victimism is one hundred percent convinced that oneself is good and the others are bad… And this can one day lead to depression and even suicide.
I am sure many will think: “This issue has nothing to do with me”. The mind draws its own conclusions to feel good. So much so that it is capable of lying for that false peace…
When something unpleasant happens to us, we take it personally, and not as something that we have to learn. The mind hears, “I don't love you,” instead of “I don't want you to do this this way…….
In many cases it is better to talk and not stay with our worst enemy, which is our mind. It is not able to intuit reality.
A person who seeks the common good, who seeks fraternity, will accept what happens to him in life, whether it is good or bad. He is not going to fall so much into victimism. He resigns.
If we take everything personally, if any little thing affects us, if we are so sensitive that we are not capable of seeking the common good, that we individualize everything, we are more likely to fall into victimism.
And the solution, as always, is humility.
If we think about the common good of the students of an association, if one does NOT think oneself to be special, if one is truly humble, then one accepts the gymnasium. He accepts what the Father gives him as a teaching. He accepts that he is not the center of the Universe. If one does not want to BE THE BOSS, but rather to serve, one will avoid falling into all these states.
If one thinks one is the boss, one thinks that one is special and never believes one deserves anything negative, one will be on one’s throne. And if he thinks he is special, it is because, according to him, others are not, others are below him. And he will not accept not being the leader in everything. Obviously, in the end he will fall into victimism, depression, anger, because he does not deserve anything negative; he feels and thinks that he is special… Then the other “I” will be waiting for him later on: that of MYTHOMANIA, because there is a lack of humility, a lack of maturity…
If one never has a gymnasium in one’s life and one always wants to be Zen and one is afraid to experience things and lock oneself up, then one will never reach the Light. We will never develop inner strength. We will never get closer to the Father.
The gymnasium serves to pay karma, to gain comprehension, but also to learn how to handle situations and reach an inner balance or balance of the Consciousness. If we do not do this, our STONE will be left with neither profundity nor strength.
We are here to get to know ourselves. If one experiences difficult things: stress, pain…, it is the best opportunity to get to know oneself. But if we always want to avoid the gymnasium and be at home in peace, we are not going to get very far in terms of Consciousness. Yes, we can develop internal Fires, but it does not mean that we will have true Fire and psychological death.
So when something happens to us we have to thank God. We may feel a certain sadness, but not a depressive sadness, not a sadness of the “I”. We do not want to fatten the “I's”, but we do need to have sadness to analyze, to understand what the Father wants to teach us. The gymnasium is the most beautiful thing that can happen to us, because it is the best way to get to know ourselves.
We need to practice self-denial. Self-denial helps us to accept things without dramatizing, without falling into depression or sadness. And in this way we avoid falling into different situations of victimism.
For example, if we do not want to listen to the problems or complaints of the students, whether they are directed toward us or toward someone, woman or man, then we are not doing our work as instructors. Because giving the courses is the work of the instructor, but what we are talking about here is our true psychological work, the work that moves us forward. If we do not want gymnasiums, if we do not want to talk, then one day we are going to stagnate or deviate. And we will enter into the “I” that says to us: “POOR ME…”. This should never exist if we want to walk this path. Because everything is put in place by the Father, everything serves to move forward.
We do not move forward if there is no gymnasium, if everyone loves us then there is no water boiling. There is no comprehension. And there will only be the “THEY DO NOT LOVE ME”….. And who says this…? The “I” of self-love and victimism. We feel that we do not deserve anything bad, that everything is unfair.
One must not take things personally, unless people tell us things clearly… If not, they are just deductions of the mind… And if we add the darkness to this, we can lose even our best friend along this bad path. We say: “He is like this for such a reason, surely he has something against me”, etc., etc., etc. All these phrases are of the “I”, they are not real. Unless someone tells us something clearly. And if it were the case, one has to resolve it, to talk about it, and not say that one always has to be silent, this is not a way to learn about oneself. We can remain silent if we see that the person cannot be helped, or that nothing is going to change.
If we speak, we must be careful with the words we use. Do not speak with anger. Master Samael did not speak in the same way with a male companion as with a female companion, he was very careful with the Gnostic ladies. Out of respect, not out of fear, not out of thinking badly of women, but out of chivalry.
If we speak, we must talk about concrete facts or concrete sayings, not based on mental speculations. We have to work on this. We have to work on our minds. Because if there are no concrete facts and there are no concrete sayings about us, everything has been the work of the mind.
God gave us the word and this helps when we do not have the intuition to understand, to comprehend. One does not have to be afraid to speak up. But a very proud person feels that he has comprehended everything, so why speak? That is the danger here… So we repeat the phrase by Master Samael: “Sometimes we must speak when we want to be silent, sometimes we must be silent when we want to speak.”
Here I add some quotations for your reflection:
“Man should never lament the times in which he lives, for it will be of no use to him. On the other hand, it is always within his power to improve them.”
Carlyle
“Those who lament the most are those who suffer the least.”
Tacit
MAY THE ALMIGHTY BRING HIS LIGHT TO ALL OF YOU FOR ALL ETERNITY.
KWEN KHAN KHU